Thursday, February 28, 2013

New routines

Well, it's official, maternity leave is over.  I started back at work on Tuesday and so far so good. Monday was Natalie's 2 month check up, complete with shots!  I didn't think I would cry when she got her shots, but the look on her face coupled with her screams brought tears to my eyes.  I think it was because it looked like she thought I was betraying her.  One second she's happy sucking on her pacifier with Mommy holding her hands, and the next moment she realizes that I'm holding her hands to hold her down so the nurses could attack her with sharp needles.  Of course she couldn't process betrayal, but we wouldn't know even if she did.  Anyway, she fared the shots very well (she's showing off her Bugs Bunny band-aids) and didn't have any fever or fussiness after the initial shots.  I wasn't bright in taking off the band-aids; a nice mom would have soaked them to wear off the adhesive while I decided to pull them off quickly.  More screaming and betrayal.  It's a good thing that babies have a short memory!

As far as her 2-month check up, our little girl is growing!  She is now 25 inches long--still hanging out in the 99 percentile for length-- and almost 12 pounds.  She's dropping a little in the weight percentages, but she's definitely still a big, happy, healthy girl!

I had taken the day off because of her doctor appointment, but my coworkers were going out for a birthday celebration.  I was invited and thought it might be a good trial run for daycare.  We pay by the week anyway, and I thought maybe dropping her off for an hour or two might be good for both her adjustment and also to make the next morning easier for me.  Plus, I dropped off her diapers and wipes and final paperwork leaving nothing to forget that first full day.  It actually went really well.  I thought I would find myself thinking about her constantly during lunch, but instead I enjoyed the company of my coworkers.  I didn't have any errands to run after lunch so I went a picked her up, but I'm really glad I eased into daycare, even if it was for just a few hours over lunch.

So far going back to work has been a pretty smooth transition.  Natalie is so mesmerized by the other kids at daycare (and perhaps too young) to care that I am leaving.  It's a little sad, really, but her teachers are very nice and even though I know they're watching several other children during the day, I feel like they give me a pretty complete run down of what happened with her that day almost like she was the only one they were watching.  The first two days I think she was a little overstimulated and didn't eat or nap the greatest, but today it seems that she did much better.  Yay!  They also told me that she likes tummy time better at daycare than being on her back; I honestly think it's because she wants to see things and watch the other babies.  She can't see much while on her back!

I had brought my work computer home a few weeks ago, so I tried to sort through all of the "junk" emails before I got back to work.  I had sifted through most of the others by lunchtime and spent my first afternoon back in meetings, but by the end of today, my third day back, I feel like I am pretty much caught up mentally.  I still have plenty of things on my to do list, but I've fallen back into the rhythm and feel capable of doing my job again.  It's almost scary how quickly I fell back into it.

Emotionally I've been ok.  I have a digital picture frame at my desk so I get to look at her adorable face all day.  The first day it was a bit distracting (in a good way), but now I look at it and smile while I wait for my files to open.  The mornings seem to go pretty smoothly, but by about 3 I'm thinking about my little baby and am anxious to go pick her up and see how her day went.  In the evenings Rick and I take turns holding her and playing with her, but she's usually asleep by 7 which is a little sad, but babies have to sleep!  That doesn't mean we can't cuddle while she sleeps!  I am definitely looking forward to the weekend where we get to hang out all day again.
Kendall and Natalie at their latest playdate
Another transition is being a lactating working mom.  Pioneer has several lactation centers across campus and I've only checked out a few--some are better than others.  I'm not used to taking breaks at work (I talk enough that I figure I waste whatever break time I would have taken that way) and I don't love pumping in general, but it's definitely feasible.  My boss is really supportive which is great and my goal is to continue to breastfeed until she is 6 months.  We're a third of the way there with 800 ounces in the freezer.

I know it's too early to tell, but I think in an ideal world I would work part time.  Or maybe just shorter days.  I love my job.  I really do.  And I like the sense of accomplishment I get at the end of every work day.  Although I love spending time with my baby, the past few weeks I have felt like I had nothing to show for the day which, sadly, bothers me.  Knowing that I had fed and clothed and soothed her all day wasn't fulfilling for me.  For that reason, I like being back at work.  Now if only 6 hour work days were acceptable so I could have the best of both worlds.  And, sad as it may sound, I'm really excited about daycare partially because of the opportunity to meet new people, other parents.  Baby networking if you will.

I have had some productivity around the house: I started making baprons.  I was in Walmart last weekend and couldn't pass up some fabric that was on clearance.  I love making these little baprons; they aren't perfect but they're super cute and will be very handy when she starts eating solids and ends up wearing more food than eating it.

 For now, our little routine works.  I could sleep longer in the mornings, but I like not being rushed and the opportunity for some play time before I have to take her to daycare.  Prepping bottles,getting the baby changed and bathed, doing bottle dishes, squeezing in supper and a shower... there's not a lot of downtime for the working mom.  Can't wait for the weekend!

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