I've had some thoughts rolling around in my head lately that I thought I would share. At first I felt really profound for making these realizations, but now that I think about it I feel foolish for feeling proud. Either way, I thought they were nice little thought nuggets to share.
Lately it seems like everyone is having babies. Many friends and neighbors either are pregnant or have very small children, so it seems that babies are everywhere around me. But then I realized that babies are always being born, are always monopolizing the thoughts and lives of a certain demographic. It's just never been my demographic before so I've never really noticed. But every minute of every day, around the world, a baby is being born and at the same time someone else is thinking, "Man, it seems like everyone is having babies right now." Every day since before I was born and every day long after I'm gone. It's funny how it takes others' milestones to realize how small you are in the big picture. I remember the same feeling after college: everyone was getting married. The same crowd of the same age is still in that phase, it's just that I'm no longer in that crowd so now it seems like no one's getting married. That phase of life is over. I guess I never thought of aging as a changing of life milestones. I always figured it had to do with an age, a number, the creaking of joints and appearance of wrinkles. Isn't it funny how our perceptions on life change as we live it?
Today I've been cleaning out a closet that is filled with old letters and cards and I'm trying to sort through which ones I really need to keep to find again one day and smile as I read them. I'm finding many from friends who, at the time, seemed irreplaceable. Friends I couldn't imagine living without but haven't spoken to in years. Friends I could call today (assuming their numbers haven't changed) and catch up for an hour without a lull in conversation, and then promise to keep better in touch only to not speak again for a year or more. And I think of the friends I have now, knowing what they bring to my life now. Perhaps my needs in friends have changed. Undoubtedly I have changed in that amount of time, have become more comfortable in my own skin, more aware of the support I need from others. I have drifted from these friends for one reason or another, and not necessarily at the fault of either party. Sometimes we drift apart. Sometimes our lives lead us in different paths. But there, in that moment, we needed that friend. That person made a difference in our lives when we needed them the most. The length of friendship doesn't always equate to the impact one has on our lives. Just because you may not be friends forever doesn't mean they won't touch your life forever. They were there when you needed them, and now someone new fills the void. And, as sad as it may seem, I really think that's ok. Every moment is new. Every day brings something yesterday did not, and our lives are never the same from one minute to the next. Friends are not always forever, and some belong in the time where the friendship dimmed to live warmly in memories.
And then there are those friends that we grow with. Those that may choose different life paths but choose the same friendship. Those that sometimes we take for granted, and sometimes can't live without, and both situations are ok. The friends that are there when you call, no matter when or why, and know what to say and when to say nothing at all. I look back at letters from a dear friend I still write on a regular basis and see how our relationship has changed through the years. The words and thoughts and fears about our own lives have changed, but the friendship, the need for companionship and support, has always been there. It has evolved with our lives and with our relationship. Every relationship requires work on both sides, and when both parties make the conscious effort, that's where love blossoms. Those are the ones that last.
To my forever friends, and you know who you are, thank you for choosing to grow with me. Thank you for tending to our relationship and choosing to always being there. For my friends in the past, thank you for the part you played in my life. I'm glad we met, and I hope wherever you are, you are happy.
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